Party Planning & Execution

The plan was simple: make our place into a medieval fantasy tavern and we did our best to do just that.

We planned the menu first because of course we did.1 We ordered some empanadas from a local coffeeshop and these would be our hand pies. We decided to have a stew, some meatballs, scalloped potatoes, bread with various spreads. Friends were asked to bring a veggie and charcuterie board. We also purchased two small kegs and flavored sparkling water.

Next came the decor. We thrifted many a beer mug and just about anything that the local Goodwill would have on hand that could help with the vibes— wooden boards, rope, wall decor, fake pumpkins, a rusty metal serving plate, artwork, and a glass bottle shaped like a fish.

The rest was already in the house or I literally made out of cardboard, foil, paint, and hot glue2.

Slowly the transformation happened before our eyes. The living room became a gathering place where a magical portal would play A Knight’s Tale (and Ever After, if needed.)

The office became a warm, (digitally) firelit games room and library. This is where people could hang out and eat, but then later would become the place where a game of Tavern Stories would be played facilitated by a GM.

The kitchen now had cozy nook for visitors to sit by candlelight and a wall of heraldry3 to read through and admire. The food was spread out over the counter space and island.

Outside we set out a table for smoking guests, and a game of cornhole when the house tavern got too stuffy.

It took us the better part of a week to get it done as well as some details right up to the day of. But with the house finally decorated, the food and drink served, and the bardcore jukebox playing pop tunes… it was time to party!

The Sleeping Cat Tavern was open for business.

It is in my humble opinion that this party was a roaring success. Friends and loved ones filled just about every nook and cranny of our place. They commented on losing time because of how immersed they were in the party, the conversations or the game. I felt the same way. Don’t get me wrong— it’s not because we created a convincing replica of a tavern. You could still see our house there underneath the cardboard, hot glue and plastic cobblestone walls. Our attempts were closer to a homemade haunted house in the backyard (though more on this later 📌 ).

I just think there were a great diversity of folks hanging out so there was always someone to talk to and something to do (watch, play, eat) and music to dance to. If there were ever a tavern I would frequent, it would be one like this.

I wish I had tasked someone with taking photos. Most of what I have is from the set up or aftermath. The few I have are from friends who sent them in or screenshots I stole! I won’t beat myself up about it though.

When the party was over, I was full of good feelings. The dopamine was doing her thing. So much so that it carried me through February, which quickly became overrun with all sort of mundane projects and issues. But I think everyone should throw a fantasy tavern party once in their lives. Maybe this is what everyone should do for their 38th birthday. Try it and find out. Let me know how it goes, of course.

Afterward this Very Good Time™, the sky felt like the limit. With an unchecked party planning ego, I quickly started thinking about what else I wanted to pull off before the year was done. I asked myself.. what next??

Karaoke TTRPG Rock Opera Night

I backed Jukebox when I realized that there was a way to mix two of my favorite activities together in a way I hadn’t considered before: TTRGPs and karaoke.

Jukebox: The Karaoke Musical Tabletop Roleplaying Game is a rules-lite, no-game-master required, roleplaying game for 3 to 4 players. Over three acts and four hours, you and your friends sing karaoke and create a musical story full of drama, passion, and spectacular showstoppers!

I’ve been to two super fun karaoke events that inspired this fever dream: Freakyoke at Little Hill Lounge and Punk Band Karaoke at Eli’s Mile High Club. Both of them were great fun with friends, but I wanted to take it further. I wanted to put on a production.

What if instead of an incidental theme running through the songs that were being chosen, we had a plan to put on an epic rock opera and tell a story through the power of song?

To do list:

• Gauge interest

  • Find TTRPG folks that would be into karaoke or vice versa.

  • Bully Convince unwilling participants into being our audience. Every show needs one!

• Pick theme and songs, or premade playbill.

  • Costumes, props conversation— for the immersion!

• Rent karaoke room.

• Make magic!

Kreid Hollow’s Drive-In Cinema

Last year, I got us a new mini projector and thought, “What if I set this up outside?” Halloween was just around the corner so I got an opaque projector screen and set up an area on the front lawn where we could sit and watch movies while also greeting trick or treaters! We watched Hocus Pocus for what I called the Family Friendly portion, and then Scream for just grownups.

It was a really fun time, and we had some folks drop in to watch a movie or two despite how cold it got as the night wore on.

The next evolution? Emulate the format of The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs4. Movies, countdowns, trivia, the works! All on our front lawn. Reid and I have talked about it before, coming up with the name Kreid5 Hollow for the fictional town where this drive in would take place.

To do list:

• Pick movies!

  • One or even two movies (even better if they have a theme).

  • Prepare trivia and games based on said movie(s).

• Make a poster

  • Or commission one in the style of TLDI

• Invite friends.

• Rent popcorn machine.

• Acquire blankets.

• Have fun!

Putting on a Show

This one is also a Halloween idea, but tis one is a tad more personal.

We are lucky enough to live in a place where we can make use of the front lawn, but we also have lots of space in the backyard. Reid had once mentioned that he wanted to make a haunted house type of thing for neighborhood kids to come and check out.

We did have a few kiddos come through and grab candy (and ramen) from our driveway, but it wasn’t the kind of turnout that I felt would translate well into a steady stream of visitors.

Ultimately, we decided we would need more time and funds to build the haunted house of our dreams.

So what then? I thought in a flash what about a show?

The crazy wheels got to turning in my head. We could put on a show for our friends. Nothing too self-serious. The assignment would be to bring the spooky queer vibes.

There was one problem.I know that sounds so silly, but I want to include my friends’ and their growing families in whatever silly little plans I’m making. It’s why we had the Family Friendly portion of our drive-in night. So if we did this it would have to be TWO shows. One for the kiddos and one for the grown ups; with a little get together afterwards in the warmth of our house.

This would also be our way of announcing we're going to try and start a family in 2027.

To do list:

• Write the play!

• Rope friends into not only writing, but also playing parts!

• Announce!

  • Maybe another poster.

• Costumes and props!

• Build a set and decorate.

  • Prep house for hangout afterwards.

• Audio mix!

• Rehearse!

• Break a leg!

Wait a Minute…

I’ll never forget the face my therapist made when I told them about this deluge of party ideas. They took a beat and asked me, “Why are you trying to stay so busy?”

GULP

Look, I get it. It’s not the first time someone gets a glimpse into my thought process and is just… like… WOW!! You’re crazy! I’ve learned to take it in stride and also to take a step back and listen. In my younger years, I was living very much in the moment, and cramming a full day with activities became the standard.

I feel it’s different now. There was a time in my life where I simply could not imagine the abundance of love I have right now. I still have those FOMO moment, but it’s more about life feeling so precious by the moment, especially after glancing at the local and global news. I know these are all silly ideas. It gives me reasons to look ahead with a positive light.

Anyway, if you've made it this far let me know:

• Which event/project/party you’d want to come to or be a part of?

• Do you agree with my therapist?

• What crazy plans do you have for this year? And how can I help?

xo,

Kris

Yes, I’ve been away from online spaces (Bookstagram in particular) but that doesn’t mean I stopped reading entirely. In fact, when I looked over my StoryGraph Reading Wrap-Up, I realized I’d read more than even I thought I had this year.

And thinking back on the black hole that was 2025, I have to admit that I did enjoy a great many things, especially toward the end of the year. This is just a snapshot of the media that brought me any semblance of joy and excitement. These were the things that held me aloft, energized me to get into the real world, helped me feel the closeness of my community, and gave me a better perspective on my life.

And yes, it might be late as fuck to wrap up 2025 and tell you some of the things I loved now that we’re in mid-February 2026, but I’m just going to do it anyway ✌🏽

Books

The River Has Roots by Amal- El-Mohtar - The River Has Roots was a dreamy fable of a novella I read on a short plane ride. It’s about two sisters, Esther and Ysabel, who tend enchanted willows bordering their village, but their sisterly bond is put to the test when Esther falls for a Faerie. Gosh, I hate it when that happens!

This helped heal the sting of missing my younger sister. We lived together for a long time before I moved out to Hayward and now Oakland. While we’re only a half an hours’ drive from each other now, sometimes that feels like worlds away. I know this may be hyperbolic to others but my sister is the person who is the closest person to me in all things. We’ve been through it all: good times and bad, family emergencies, breakups, weddings, pets puking, cross country moves, natural disasters, a kitchen sink overflowing with dishes. For 30+ years I was able to just shout down the hallway to see what she was up to and now it’s a little different. But I’ve learned to accept that not all changes are “bad” and I know no matter how far apart we are, we are close in spirit.

Wake Up and Open Your Eyes by Clay McLeod Chapman - I quote this book more often than I would like. Typically it goes something like: I’ll check my phone, read a ridiculous headline and tell my husband, “Wake up and open your eyes!” from across the kitchen island. He responds, “A big storm is coming!” And we burst into laughter that dies down into a nervous titter.

More often than not, the events of WUAOYE mirror reality in an astoundingly accurate way. It’s a horror novel about a demonic possession epidemic that spreads through media, causing people to become violent and turn on their families. It also exposes the hypocrisy among folks thinking they’re on the right side of history because they watch Anderson Cooper and would have voted for Obama in a third term if they could. It’s an intense read to be sure, but also cathartic. Like ok, you’re seeing this too right?

I’m not the only one seeing how things are going down in our government and media.

I’m not the only one who is disgusted and afraid.

I’m not the only one…

These Heathens by Mia McKenze - This story was book-long version of those “gay English teacher and their students” memes for me. I wasn’t out to students or staff as queer while I was a full-time teacher. It was a source of concern that I’d be found out and be fired, no matter how much of a “family” we were. The staff at my school was not immune to Christianity-fueled homophobia, transphobia, racist and misogynist jokes and comments. My ex students that follow me on social media practically know everything about me now.

Leaving teaching was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Part me of me has never left. Rather it shifted into different forms— from education adjacent jobs like teaching aides, translator, and college counseling positions, to running writing groups, playing TTRPGs, subjecting friends and family to a deeply investigated power point, and so on. It all feels like an extension of my teaching ability even if it’s not in a classroom.

These Heathens is about 17-year-old Doris Steele. She travels from her small Georgia town to Atlanta in 1960 to get an abortion with the help of her favorite teacher, who knows some people, who know some people, etc. The favor leads to a transformative weekend for Doris, where she encounters folks involved in the Civil Rights Movement and Queer Black communities. Her worldview is straight-up rocked.

It was a nice callback to both only my teaching days, but also those days where I felt like my students were seeing me as more than just somebody who made them write vocabulary words in their notebook. I was just another person trying to be there for them in whatever capacity they needed: trusted friend, queer elder, older sibling, a safe space.

Black in Blues: How a Color Tells the Story of My People by Imani Perry - I loved this book so much that I decided to just buy myself a copy to have and return to whenever the mood strikes. It’s a book about the color blue, but also so much more. Each chapter centers on a different way blue and Blackness are intertwined, and every connection is both so well-researched and fascinating.

If I wrote any kind nonfiction I’d want it to looks/sound like. Lyrical, beautiful. I learned about dyed indigo, about jazz and the blues, about pain and hope and took away so much more than what was on the page. Easily one of my favorite nonfiction books point blank period.

Sleeper Hits

Moderation by Elaine Castillo - I didn't know what to expect from this one as my only exposure to Castillo was from How to Read Now: Essays but I got approved for the ARC somehow (Thank you Viking!) and I got to reading and quickly became hooked. Content moderation sounds like a living hell, but Girlie’s journey through perilously mundane virtual worlds, the Filipino diaspora, and… an unexpected romance with a handsome but painfully shy boss, high-key had me in a chokehold. The book was over before I knew it. Fairly little happened, and yet Girlie lingers in my mind to this day. Wishing her nothing but the best.

The Isle in Silver by Tasha Shuri - A sleeper hit! I picked it up at the end of the year when I thought my reading was wrapped for the year and absolutely adored the world building and romance. I want to save all of my thoughts for a future romance book-centered post, but first… I want to talk to you about my romance book club, and that is a story all to itself so it will have to wait until the next installment.

Movies

I bought AMC’s Slash Pass last year, plus I’m also a Shudder subscriber, which means that the bulk of my movie watching was in the horror genre.

The Long Walk - While I hate to give Stephen King any more attention than he already gets, I have to admit this was an arresting watch. Based on one of his earlier, bleak-as-hell stories, the film leans hard into tension and inevitability rather than spectacle. The tension bounces back and forth between the boys, the General, and the events of the world that got us to enjoy such a spectacle.

Sinners - I think this is the first time I’ve seen a movie unfold in front of me the way a beautifully written novel does. Watching in theaters was absolutely the way to go. What makes it especially powerful is how deeply it’s rooted in Black Southern history and cultural memory, using music, place, and community as more than backdrop. It’s not just scary; it’s doing cultural work, showing how genre can hold grief, legacy, and resistance all at once.

Weapons - Creepy to the absolute max. This felt like a throwback in the best way. It was tight, mean, and uninterested in holding your hand. There’s an old-school styling to how the dread is built. Dare I say it was a little reminiscent to previously mentioned authors in this section that weave stories from multiple characters around a strange supernatural event. I was riveted from beginning to end, the kind of movie that makes you sit a little stiller as it goes on.

Music

Unlike previous years, I did not venture out into the unknown to discover new music. I leaned into artists that were familiar to me and played their music into the ground. Here is what made up the soundtrack to my life in 2025.

Hayley Williams's Ego Death at the Bachelorette Party - If this short list is the soundtrack to my 2025, then “Glum” has to be the opener. At times, I imagined an entire intro to the TV show of my life. A big part of my journey has been to embrace all of my emotions, even though once and I deemed negative. I have always loved Hayley’s honesty and lyricism and EDATBP was made for me. Standouts are “Parachute” (the melodrama!) “Kill Me”, “True Believer” and the suuuper smooth (and also melodramatic) “Good Ol’ Days”.

FKA Twigs’s EUSEXUA - I was ready to see my girl Twigs feeling good. Caprisongs was a great concept, but EUSEXUA felt more like we finally made it to the club to dance our asses off. We don’t have anything to prove because we’ve taken the time to think, reflect, and forgive. Now we’re ready to live that life that felt like it was on pause because a broken heart makes for terrible dance rhythm. “Girl Feels Good”, “Perfect Stranger”, “Drums of Death” (which I pretend can happen at the drop of a hat in my own office space) and “Striptease” are my favorites and will generally be on as I’m making my weekend breakfast.

Bad Bunny - DeBÍ TiRAR MáS FOToS - Even though, it’s probably blasphemy, I’ll admit that it took me a while to get into this album. I knew I was going to love it, but I needed to be ready. Listening to Bad Bunny songs is intrinsically linked with life as I experienced it on the island. The music brings back memories that are wonderful, but also painful. Reminders of how much I love my home, how hard things were dealing with power outs, how complex things become when you move away, and how much I wish I could return.

“ALAMBRE PúA” while not from the album, was the residency opener. When the show started with the drums and dancing Benito came out with his silly little hat singing, “Me amarraste el corazón con alambre ‘e púa’” and then followed it up by singing, “Puerto Ricoooooo!” Every one of us in the crowd lost it because we all have Puerto Rico tied to our hearts with barbed wire. Why else would we be there?

Lido Pimenta - La Belleza - People were very enthralled with Rosalia’s experimental, operatic, and deeply spiritually laced music drop. I wish they brought the same fire for Lido’s project. I considered it to be just as dramatic, an orchestral masterpiece with a focus that felt just as much of a love letter to her own life and culture. Her choice of lyrics, voice, and musicality felt ancestral and resonated with something in me that I didn’t realize I hadn’t tapped into for a long time. I could listen to the entire album in one sitting. I loved “Mango” for its sensory sensuality with “El Dembow Del Tiempo” coming in as a close second. “Busca La Luz” has never failed to bring a tear to my eye as the album closer.

¡Que viva el Caribe!
¡Que viva el Caribe, LIBREE!
OoooAAAA
Busca la luz busca la lu-luz
Busca la luz busca la luz, se la luz

Specific Tracks

Kehlani’s “Folded” - This is such a gorgeous song. I’m just really happy that Kehlani is finally getting her flowers, and right when she’s at peak lesbian. The radio is always full of love songs, hookup songs, breakup songs, and it was nice to also have a song about a living relationship— this is a make up song in my opinion. I hear it as an open letter to someone that you want in your life. They need to get it together and do what they have to do to keep you because you are so willing and open to that. They just need to walk through the door…

I don't need no more empty promises
Promise me that you got it
I don't need roses
Just need some flowers from my garden
Can't you go back to how you loved on me when you started?

Dijon’s “Yamaha” - I love what this song does to me. I feel equal parts romantic, introspective and weirdly nostalgic. Every time it came up on the shuffle I would feel a big smile spread over my face. Loved this introduction to Dijon and I’m excited to keep listening.

Baby, I'm in love with this particular emotion
And it’s sweet, you in this particular motion
You shouldn’t hide it, honey, you should own it and show it
Big loving, that’s my heart
And you own it
Still own it, baby

xo,

Kris

I’ve been on what you call Bookstagram for a little over a decade. In fact, on January 24, it’ll be 12 years that I’ve been in this space.

I’ve always felt a little insecure about how long I’d been a Bookstagrammer because I always felt like I had very little to show for it. So many of my peers have gone on to do great things: write books, get brand deals, start publishing houses, go all the way to Congress and advocate for a myriad of worthy causes that we’re still unfortunately fighting today. Even just compiling great books lists, bringing awareness, encouraging folks to read diversely, and writing amazing reviews.

I felt like what I’d accomplished paled in comparison. I’d started book clubs and participated in initiatives, made zines, shared my reading progress, and connected with friends. Small stuff, in my opinion. Not world-changing stuff. Not as important as what others were doing. I didn’t feel like I earned the attention I got. I didn’t feel like I belonged.

Last year was a year of many changes.

I changed jobs, started working partly from home, got married, and moved to Oakland with my husband.

A close relationship of mine ended abruptly, and then my romance book club of ten years ended abruptly too.

And of course, the entire world was continually falling apart right before my eyes. The continued political violence, the genocides, famines, and natural disasters.

I felt overwhelmed. Part of it was trauma due to my own experiences with pain, suffering and hunger. Seeing non-stop images and witnessing world events was draining me of everything, but I didn’t want to disconnect. It was the least I could do.

I was learning how to do so many new things in my daily life: being married, living away from my sister, living in a brand new city in America. I was also dealing with dysfunctional work dynamics after the supervisor quit shortly after I was brought on board.

Money management was hard too. I had to spend more than I usually did in order to get myself settled. Looking at my bank account sent me into a panic, and triggered a strange guilt because up until then I could always support others in need with mutual aid. That felt like it was lost to me too.

I fell into a deep depression. I didn’t realize it at the time because I felt like I was fighting the entire time. I kept planning how I was going to turn it around. I was going to rejoin this place with the friends I loved so much and everything would fall back into place.

I planned what I would read, what I would write, what I would say, what people would want to know. And I kept stalling because I would take a look around and felt that none of what I wanted to share felt important. I know I was overthinking everything, and still am.

Usually when I’m having a hard time like this, there’s a moment when I know I’m making my way out. I have a moment of clarity and almost always think or say out loud, “I think I’m getting better now... I’ll be back soon.” But that moment eluded me for days, weeks, months... and basically the rest of the year.

Meanwhile I kept enjoying Bookstagram. I kept getting recommendations, getting informed, getting inspired. Seeing what my friends and mutuals were up to. Seeing what they were fighting for. I didn’t judge anyone else, but I couldn’t get over my self-consciousness and insecurity.

I would try to take a picture, record myself, record my voice. I hated it all. I hated how I sounded and looked. I felt soft and useless.

But it wasn’t just Bookstagram. I was becoming a ghost in my own life, too. Those feelings were bleeding from inside. I was going through the motions at work, in my new marriage, in my new city. Present but not really there. Watching my own life from the outside, unable to fully inhabit it.

So while I waited and waited, my little world moved on.

And I watched it happen.

That’s the strange thing about being a ghost. You’re still there, just unseen.

I watched book releases I’d been excited about. I watched conversations I would have joined. I watched my friends celebrate wins and support each other through losses. I was there for all of it, just silent. Present but not participating.

I did try to read along with friends, but couldn’t keep up. Those discussions never happened or if they did, I had very little to contribute. I felt like I was wasting everyone’s time.

Sometimes people would check in. “Are you okay? Miss seeing you!” And I’d say yes, I’m fine, just busy, which was true and also not true at all. I was busy trying to survive. But I also couldn’t bother with the exhausting work of trying to decide if anything I had to say mattered.

The longer I stayed quiet, the harder it became to break the silence. What would I even say? “Hi, I’m back, here’s a book rec”? It felt ridiculous. Like I needed a reason, a grand return, something worthy of the absence.

I don’t know exactly when things started to shift. There wasn’t one moment of clarity, no dramatic breakthrough. It was more like I got tired. Tired of planning the perfect return. Tired of measuring my worth against people. Tired of waiting to feel ready.

Things started falling into place.

I started therapy. I settled into Oakland. I found steadier ground at work. And slowly, quietly, I started to feel more like myself again. Not the version of myself that needed to prove anything.

I started to wonder: what if I’d been asking the wrong questions this whole time?

What if Am I doing enough? was never a question I needed to answer? What if my book clubs and conversations and little connections weren’t “small stuff” but actually the entire point? What if the people who’ve written books and started publishing houses are doing their thing, and I’m doing mine, and both can matter?

What if I don’t need to earn my place here?

What if I just need to show up?

So that’s what I’m trying to do now. Just show up as best I can.

This reflection/ramble, for one! I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but I felt like it was time to give myself the chance to talk about it and get it out of my backpack. I don’t have it all figured out, and maybe that’s worth sharing too.

I still want to share the things that inspire me: books, movies, music, friends, food, memories, life experiences. I want to continue to fight for the things I believe in.

Bookstagram is always going to be an important part of my life, but last year I gave it a lot of power to influence me back and I’m done waiting to be worthy of being anywhere. I’m done measuring myself against an impossible standard.

I can’t say for certain that this year will be better to me, but i’ll keep trying no matter what.